The Sound of Blunders
- message from Peter Hyams, director of "A Sound of Thunder"
From: Hyams, Peter
To: All Writing Staff
Subject: Make them squirm!
I've been going over the latest revisions on the screenplay and I think we're nearly there. This time I was shifting uncomfortably in my seat as I was reading it. That's good work people. Just not quite the level we were aiming for. Remember, we want to make them - at the very least - SQUIRM. If people are running away screaming from the cinema, bleeding from the eyes and brain shriveled to the size of cashews then all the better. But as a minimum we should get them to squirm.
Indeed we are well on the way.
I've never in my entire career - keep in mind this includes the Timecop series - read anything as absurd as the "time waves" concept. It's absolutely brilliant! I especially love how you guys went not just for the implausible or the improbable but went straight for the downright stupid. Nearly fell out of my chair reading it. That bit is great work.
Goes together with all the giant logic gaps perfectly. The audience won't know what hit them.
As a general update for all of you, creature development is going on smoothly. The dinosaur thing is nearly done, as are the giant bats. Add that to the butterfly and the eel in the subway and the only thing that's left is the monkey saurus. The guys down at computer graphics made them look really real and believable. What a travesty! I fired the lot straightaway. Have hired a group of talented people from the Home for the visually impaired to get us back on track. They're going through Photoshop- training as I write this.
Some revisions:
- during the scene just before he makes the jump back to prevent the butterfly stomping, I detected a good 12 seconds without anything stupid happening. What do you of getting some scenes of Ed Burns changing? Maybe in slow motion?
- in screen tests, ben's shiny crome dome is spoiling all the shots. I don't want to offend him so is there some way we can cover it up? A hat or a wig of some sort? Just make sure it's ugly.
- on the strength of the "time waves" concept, I there just aren't enough scenes where Catherine is drawing the rings in mid air. Please add more. In inappropriate places of course.
- Speaking of which. I don't like Catherine's character. That's good but I need to really hate her. Really really hate her. Could we please make her a little more self-righteous?
- I need to cut down on any crowd chaos scenes. We don't have the funds for that number of extras. Can we do all the havoc from long distance? Close-up chaos should not involve more than 5 people.
- In the subway, when Catherine dives down to save Ed from drowning, I detected almost a hint of plausibility. How many times do I need to remind you guys? There is no room for such thinking. Maybe we could get her to give him CPR while she is treading water. Kills two birds with one rock as we get a bit of kiss time between them as well.
Right, that's it for now. I look forward to reading the next version. Remember, "if it doesn't make them squirm, it's not bad enough."
Rgds,
Peter
testing 1,2
All pictures taken at night because I don't see the sun. I do not know how if my camera works in daylight.
Shaw cinema hall 2, seat 12 row A. (a truly shit seat)
The top half of the Fullerton hotel, beneath a half moon, taken half-heartedly just before I met a pimp for dinner
Clarke Quay - quaint colonial style buildings, converted into cheesy watering holes with lighted UFOs parked outside
Me reading a book at the 5th Asian Film Symposium. Yes, the movie was that bad.
One crazy-ass horse
Sometimes life likes to throw you a curve ball.
Do you swing and take the chance of missing and striking out? or lean back and hope they call it a ball? Would it be different if it was ball two, strike two, runners on base, bottom of the ninth, down by 1, two outs with the championship on the line? What if the ball hits a bird on the way? Is that a ball or a strike?
These are just some of the questions I have had to ask myself lately - because life pitched me a curler.
The way it curled was this: I was expecting to look for pregnant women but ended up in a club where very obvious transexuals put their hands on the "goods" of the male clients. And the men didn't seem to notice. And it isn't even a gay club. And damn, if some of those ex-men looked like women at first - albeit very tall women with adam's apples.
As a disclaimer, I must say that I brought an actual genuine woman with me to grant me immunity from the counterfeit women, not unlike how a person living in vampire country will use garlic to grant them immunity from fresh breath.
For those - like those men in the club - who are not very clear on the difference, I present these simple guidelines:
counterfeit women - no bazooka
genuine women - same as counterfeit women but did not have to undergo painful bazooka removal surgery to achieve that state.
Anyway, as I sat there watching the counterfeit put their moves on the men , I became intrigued at this one particular couple where the counterfeit's hand was going full on at the bazooka. However, the man stayed nonchalant, almost bored as if what was happening down south was nothing out of the normal.
"Honey, where are the house keys?"
"It's in my pants pocket next to the hand of the transexual call-person"
"got it, thanks."
As I sat there watching this, a profound, life-changing thought came to mind: "dude, that's a DUDE you are letting near your goolies."
Sorry, I meant the profound thought came after that: "How did the search for pregnant woman come (har!) to this?"
And also: "a hideously ugly genuine or a hot counterfeit?"
