- officially the longest running theme duckshoe has ever had ........ for no good reason, really.

A lurrrrvvve fairy tale:
Once upon a time, in a land far away, lived a princess. And this princess was somewhat heavy - plump, you would say, not fat.
Unfortunately for the princess, plumpness was not a sought after trait among the princes. It could not be said that suitors were climbing over themselves to court this princess. In fact, most princes actively took steps not to court this princess.
What is a princess to do? Any reasonable person would say lose weight, but this princess was far from reasonable: her idea was that she needed to go chase these damn princes herself, reasoning that it was football season and the princes were busy.
(in this story you really have to be privy to the difference between princes(plural of prince) and princess (plural of princes))
Most of the princes this princess approached ran for the hills. This, despite the fact that the hills were 200 miles away and some princes were wearing 200 pounds of iron armour. It would not be an exaggeration to say that some princes felt rather strongly that they did not want to court this princess.
One prince, however, took pity on this princess and befriended her. He felt safe knowing he was already betrothed to another - not plump nor fat - princess. And so the prince and the plump princess started hanging out.
You know what happens next.
Like a fool, plump princess fell for the compassionate prince - despite knowing that the two of them could never be. The plump princess went through much emotional turmoil but ultimately decided that "heck it, it's not something I can control".
The plan - this is the way she makes herself feel less stupid - was to just enjoy her friendship with the prince and hopefully present an option that the prince might take up, should god forbid the non-plump princess die from a poison apple. The advisor who conceived this plan thought it was brilliant. The plump princess - unable to come up with anything better that would still allow her to woo the prince - did not have the heart to say that she did not think it was a stellar plan.
"I have decided....,'' she said, having come up with a middle or the road alternative that hopefully would not offend her aid, "to hold out hope for the poisoning of the other princess for only 1 year. After which, I shall become a nun.''
And so the wait began.
To be continued .......... (when I come up with some plot twist).